Outdoor Gravity’s got the balls to throw my kid down a mountain

PIGEON FORGE, Tn. — You know what you shouldn’t mess with? Gravity, friends.

Well, also Texas. But especially gravity.

This rule should only be broken if you’re in a controlled environment, like, say, an 11-foot plastic gerbil ball filled with water hurtling down a mountain.

We brought Trevor to Outdoor Gravity Park for some gerbil-ball action. The giant OGO orbs, billed as good clean fun, are “constructed from over 300 square feet of plastic, more than 1,000 little plastic anchors, about 600 multicoloured strings and endless hours of welding, gluing and tying combined with sweat, tears and billions of teensy little kisses.”

So that seems safe enough, considering all those kisses. It took Trev about half an hour to stop shaking after his minute-long ride, but he said he enjoyed it. Or he said he’d never forget it. One of those.